Early March I wrote on rites of passage. Rituals give meaning to a situation or an event in life. Pastors can use rituals for different reasons, for example to get closure after the death of a loved one. Rituals, not only rites of passage (I will post some other time on the different types of rituals), share a similar process, like this.

A ritual follows 4 steps. The first one is preparation. In case of a personal ritual the pastor will talk with the person performing the ritual on what the ritual will mean and which form to choose. Of course if this person is a member of a religious tradition there are lots of forms in such a tradition that can be chosen. It's important that the ritual uses physical objects that have meaning to the person performing the ritual. For example: If a person can't let go of a loved one that passed away, this person can write a letter or use some physical object that was owned by this loved one and is a strong reminder of this person. In a religious tradition it is important to have objects that carry meaning, for example the wine used during mass. In the preparation of the ritual meaning is given by blessing the wine, etc.

The second step is the execution of the ritual. Of course this depends on which form is chose. In the example given in step one; the letter can be burned of buried as a symbol. By performing the ritual the person has to physically act and not the pastor. Of course the pastor will guide the execution of the ritual.

The third step is to close the ritual. Talk about is, talk about the meaning and the effects it had. Pray, listen to music that fits the ritual, weep, etc. The closing is an important part of a ritual, because it explicitly marks an ending.

The last part is ongoing. Whenever the person that was subject feels down or thinks that she or he can't handle a situation or falls back in to grief or depression, she or he is able to look back on the ritual, conscious or not. Looking back will continue to provide closure, peace or confirmation with the situation (depending on the type of ritual).

Time is also a part of this process. The must be enough time for each step in the ritual, but not every ritual demands the same amount of time. Some rituals need weeks to prepare, some minute. Some take hours or days to execute, some minutes. But enough time and attention to the feelings and meaning fitting the ritual are important factor for the success of it.